I’ve been working on a solo project for the past few months, creating a program to help others develop themselves in a way to overcome themselves, whatever their issues may be (Depression, anxiety, stress, resentment, etc.), and in doing so I wrote this quote that I am now using as the title of this post, “Success is made in the quiet, dark hours of the night when no one is watching.”
One, I wrote this because it encapsulated my journey to overcoming depression. Most people didn’t know I dealt with extreme depression, to the point where I almost took my own life on three separate occasions. But as I came out and began to reveal the depths of my emotional turmoil after overcoming it, my message appeared to be a shock to many who had known me.
Two, after learning about others who have been successful in their own endeavors, I began to see that the “winners” in life, whoever you might consider them to be, became winners by going through those quiet, dark hours before they ever hit the limelight.
Public figures like Tom Bilyeu convey his story of being lazy, depressed, uninspired, wandering through life unsure of where he was going and how to get there, to becoming a co-founder of Quest Nutrition, which sold several years ago for a $1 billion cash buyout.
However, he didn’t just go from an uninspired couch surfer to a leader in an organization, who then went on to create other multi-million dollar companies at the snap of his fingers. He went on a journey that led him to the place where he’s the prominent figure he is today.
The same goes for Ed Mylett, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Oprah Winfrey, Brad Pitt, Emma Stone, and so on.
Success Is Made In the Fire
Success is made in the quiet, dark hours of the night, which can also be likened to the idea that success is made in the fire of the recurring ordeal you find yourself embattled within.
In the past, I’ve discussed how our instant-gratification societal norms have changed our perception of life and how we should live.
We are in the “I want it now” era, in which, realistically speaking, most of human history probably lived with the idea of wanting it now. However, a deeper understanding of the reality that having it right now isn’t possible ended up tempering many of those cravings.
Today, instantaneous access to everything makes it hard to grasp that some things take time, especially those that one might consider or ascribe to success.
Most of the success you realize in life only comes after you’ve gone through the fire of the situation. This could be in business, sports, relationships, your mental health, or any other area. It’s the fire that purges and tempers you into that successful person.
Embracing the Grind
I often feel people conflate the idea of “The Grind” as simply working hard until you reach the end. In some instances, that’s true, and I believe it’s a part of it in some respects. In others, it’s hanging on by your fingertips, barely making it by, wondering if there’s any end in sight.
It’s dealing with failure after failure, with the discomfort of knowing you’ve given everything you’ve got and are unsure if you have any more to give.
When you feel empty, but wake up again and continue to choose to push through even when it would be easier to stop or let go.
Many people reach this point and let go. I’ve let go plenty of times in my life, some for better, others for worse. There have been many times when I needed to push through but didn’t because I hadn’t built the resilience required to see me through to the end.
What I didn’t understand, and what many don’t, is that being put to the grindstone is what shapes you into who you become. Talent can play a part in whether you achieve the success you’re looking for, but as Stephen King said:
“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work”
– Stephen King
So it’s not just about being talented, having it all together, or being in the right place at the right time. Those can help for sure, but rather, it’s about tenacity. Are you willing to endure longer and go farther than those around you?
The Role of Discipline and Consistency
Last week, I wrote How to Make Your Future a Reality: The Power of the Next Small Step, discussing the importance of discipline and consistency in achieving one’s endeavors and ambitions.
Without discipline and consistency, you cannot be successful. You may have momentary success, a flash in the pan, so to speak, but it won’t be a true success. It won’t be a long-lasting change you experience that has the ability to carry you through time.
How could it?
This is an area I’m still developing myself, but the more I see other successful people in the world, the more I see the rigid discipline and consistency they follow that allows them to stay successful.
This is also how I overcame 20+ years of depression and anxiety. I eventually figured out how to be disciplined and consistent with guarding my mind and creating a mindset that no longer succumbs to the whims of depression or anxiety.
Success is made through the fire of transformation, but transformation comes from embracing the grind and creating discipline and consistency in your life.
Success Is Made in the Shadows
This is the quiet, dark hours of the night. It’s when nobody is watching that you begin to transform into the person no one saw coming.
I’ve written about this idea in the past, too; you can read it HERE, and it’s the idea that there is no overnight success.
You may want to achieve that goal of yours right now, or you may desire freedom from your current mental health issue or situation right now. It’s not that it can’t happen, but if you’re content with hoping, wishing, praying, dreaming, etc., that all you’re problems will be solved or that you’ll find instantaneous success, the likelihood is that you’ll continue to hope, wish, pray, and dream until you close you’re eyes for the last time. That’s the nice way of saying until you die.
The reality is very few people experience that instantaneous miracle. Why? I don’t know, but I wish I did.
Even if you consider the idea of manifestation, there’s still a learning curve, a stage of growth you must go through. However, you want to look at it to begin producing results.
The idea that success is made in the shadows or the quiet of the night doesn’t necessarily mean going through a trial; it is simply that you are working when no one is watching.
The Work No One Sees
This is all the focused preparation you’ve been doing: studying, reading books, practicing plays or moves, dribbling or throwing a ball, and playing guitar until your fingers bleed, without fans cheering you on or encouraging you to go deeper.
It’s about the late nights and early mornings. It involves dedicating time to meditate, exercise, write, take walks or runs, spend quality moments with your kids, and engage in prayer, seeking knowledge and learning as much as possible.
When you give yourself over to the obsession of becoming better than you were before or becoming the expert on a particular subject matter, spending years researching to understand a topic as fully and deeply as possible, that’s when you begin to transform.
I didn’t just magically overcome depression; I worked on overcoming depression. I began to understand it on a much deeper level emotionally, mentally, physically, and psychologically. As I did so, I found what made it tick-tock, which allowed me to pull the plug and shut down the whole machine.
That journey took between 8 and 10 years. I could have done it much faster had I realized some of the concepts I’m discussing today. But I had to endure a longer, more arduous journey to get where I am today because I didn’t.
My journey was quiet, though. I rarely talked about it with others while going through it, and I did a lot of work that no one ever saw. But during those times, it was the quiet work that helped see me through.
The same goes for you in whatever you’re doing in life.
The Quiet Hours Define You
When you see a person with an ungodly number of followers on social media, whichever app you use, you must remember that they didn’t get there overnight.
That business with a multibillion-dollar market cap didn’t get there overnight.
All your favorite actors, actresses, TV personalities, and musicians didn’t get there overnight.
Any business magnet you look up to didn’t get there overnight.
They all endured the quiet, dark hours of the night to get to where they are today. The actors and actresses played small parts in series and movies before they became big stars. But they dedicated themselves to their craft and worked on it while no one was watching.
The musicians played small gigs until they became increasingly in demand before finally making it big. However, they dedicated themselves to their work while no one was watching.
Those business magnets and businesses, in general, didn’t just pop up and dominate their marketplace; they were built over time, and leaders came and went with those willing to endure the grindstone rising to the top.
Let the quiet hours define you.
Success is made when you can allow yourself to be okay with this concept.
This doesn’t mean you don’t utilize the tools at your disposal, but rather than get defeated because you aren’t where you want to be, use this time to fashion yourself into that future version you want to become.
Celebrate the invisible victories. Congratulate yourself for every rep and every step you take. When you experience the inevitability of failure, get back up and start moving forward.
Whatever your profession or endeavors, whatever your industry or calling. Whoever it is you are trying to become, allow yourself to bask in the dark, quiet hours of the night because you know this is where growth takes place and where you change from who you are today into the person you want to become.
Thank you for reading!
If you enjoyed today’s newsletter, please share it with your family, friends, and network. Until next time!
Josiah
