Having the proper mindset towards the things you’re interested in can seem fairly easy to come by, but it doesn’t mean you possess mental acuity across the board. You may find yourself able to fall back on specific aspects of mental resilience or toughness. Still, people often flounder in the face of adversity because they haven’t developed the necessary tools to overcome adversity, at least not the kind they’re not used to.
In many instances, you may face adversity and succumb to it without even the thought of pushing back. Take anxiety, for example. If you struggle with anxiety, how many times do you push back against the anxiety whenever it pounces and begins to run your life?
This could go for any emotional reaction you’re prone to simply because you’ve acclimated to that reaction over time. Instead of objectively looking at the response, the emotional state, and questioning its validity, you embrace it like a long-lost friend.
However, adversity lives in your mind. Yes, the circumstance or situation you’re dealing with may be difficult, but true adversity lives somewhere in your mind’s conscious or subconscious layers.
You might think you need to confront the situation or circumstance causing the strife to overcome adversity, but the harsh truth is that you really need to confront yourself.
Let’s look at how this can be accomplished.
The Mind is Your Greatest Tool for Overcoming Adversity
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl discusses how everything can be taken from you except your ability to choose your attitude, regardless of the circumstance.
As a survivor of the horrors of the Nazi Concentration camps, Frankl was able to witness firsthand how human beings can either succumb to their circumstances or how they can overcome adversity, no matter how tortuous the situation might be.
Here’s a quick excerpt from his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, to give you an idea of what we’re discussing today:
“…everything can be taken from man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate.
Seen from this point of view, the mental reactions of the inmates of a concentration camp must seem more to us than the mere expression of certain physical and sociological conditions. Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food, and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to reach in certain ways, in the final analysis, it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. Dostoevski said once, “There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.” These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost.”
Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press. 2006
The Idea of Inner Freedom
As you can see, and especially if you read the book, man’s freedom can be stripped from him. From outward appearances, all his dignity can be taken from him. He can be degraded and broken physically, on the verge of death, and yet, despite this, he still has a choice to decide whether he’s going to overcome adversity or be beaten down by it.
Each and every one of us has the opportunity to decide how we are going to handle the difficult circumstances life throws our way.
When it comes down to it, it’s your choice in how you choose to handle the matter. This comes down to your attitude, decision-making, and inner strength.
These are things that cannot be taken from you, no matter how hard someone may try. You always have the choice of how you will react and respond to every situation. This doesn’t mean you’ll always choose the appropriate response, and it doesn’t mean the situations you face will magically change and become easier.
It simply means you no longer allow those circumstances and situations to rule your life.
The Last of Human Freedoms: Choosing Your Response to Adversity
I can’t even imagine the horrors of what it must have been like to live in the concentration camps or any of the hundreds of miserable experiences humans have had to endure throughout our existence. But as Frankl stated, this last human freedom, the concept of this inner freedom, is the ability to choose your attitude despite the hardship you might be going through.
In the moment, you may think you’ve given it everything you’ve got. You may begin to falter and feel like you’re failing and that there’s no hope.
The truth is, you have what it takes, and you don’t have to let the external hardship dictate your levels of suffering.
The apostle Paul experienced tremendous suffering; he was whipped 39 times, beaten with rods, and stoned. He was shipwrecked and imprisoned, was often cold and hungry, and eventually martyred for his faith. Despite all this, here’s what he had to say about suffering:
“…Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
– Romans 5:3-4
He could have easily given up on his mission to share his faith, but his mindset, choosing to overcome adversity, kept him going until the end.
Instead of complaining about his hardships, he saw them as a chance to develop his character. He endured hardship after hardship, and his decision to change and grow increased his resolve to overcome them no matter the cost, which eventually became his life.
It’s not the situations that define you; it’s your decision in how you handle the situation that defines you.
Decisions Define You: How Choices Shape Your Strength
Every day, you face decisions that need to be made. Some days, you may have difficult situations you must face or endure, but I’m willing to bet the majority of the time, most of the decisions in your day-to-day are relatively minor.
In fact, when I was dealing with depression, I thought everything I was dealing with was a major event. Since overcoming depression, when I look back, I laugh about how minor most of the situations actually were.
Realistically speaking, the only reason I struggled so much was because of my poor mindset. Had I realized the power I contained in my mind, the sooner I could have overcome depression.
However, I felt so lost during that time that overcoming seemed impossible. Yet, at the same time, it was my decision to stay in that place.
Regardless of what you’re facing, financial hardship, loss of a loved one, career setbacks, relationship issues, emotional or mental health issues, it really doesn’t matter what you’re facing; you have the ability to decide whether you get steamrolled by the situation, or whether you hold your head up high and push through.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have a bad day here or there or feel as if there’s no hope; it’s how fast you can revert to the mental attitude that no matter what, you are going to overcome adversity and face the day with bright eyes, a smile, and a matter-of-fact determination that you have what it takes to overcome.
Frankl had the opportunity to choose how he would move forward with his life every single day. Some days, he gave in before pulling himself out of his misery. Other days, he found hope in small ways here and there, and as a result, those days didn’t seem so bad. But it all came down to his perspective—his choice of how to move forward.
He shares that the ones who gave up hope didn’t take long before quickly fading and passing away. The attitude, or even the look on a prisoner’s face, told you they were done, and a few days later, they were gone.
Those who learned how to master their mindsets are the ones who pulled through the horrors of the concentration camps.
How to Overcome Adversity by Mastering Your Mindset
Many times, the circumstances you face can often push you towards a predictable reaction because that reaction has been practiced time and time again.
It’s part of the thinking and feeling loop Dr. Joe Dispenza often discusses.
How you think informs how you feel, which causes you to think more of the same thoughts that cause you to feel more of the same way.
This can also be true if you reverse the cycle. How you feel causes you to think a certain way, which increases the feelings and causes you to think more of the same thoughts.
This thinking and feeling loop can keep people trapped in a particular mindset because they don’t realize they’re stuck in it in the first place.
Think about it this way: Your body is addicted to the chemical concoction created when you feel a strong emotion.
If you’re always angry, it’s probably a safe bet that you not only feel angry but constantly think thoughts that reinforce that feeling of anger, and the crazy thing is, you probably don’t even know you do it.
You’ve practiced thinking and feeling the way you do for so long that it’s no longer a conscious process; it’s become a subconscious program that runs on autopilot.
This is why it’s essential to become conscious of your unconscious thoughts, as mentioned in last week’s article, How to Avoid 99% of the Problems Thrown Your Way.
When you understand this and see it play out in real-time, you can begin to master your mindset.
Your Mindset
As hard of a pill as this might be to swallow, your mindset plays a pivotal role in how you deal with adversity. You can continue to allow yourself to stay trapped in the thinking and feeling loop, or you can choose to become conscious of it and work to change it.
The reality of your situation isn’t that you are trying to overcome the obstacles, situations, or circumstances in your life; it’s that you are trying to overcome yourself!
If you focus your mindset on the fact that everything outside of you is wrong, you’ll find it more challenging to overcome those things because most, if not all, are out of your control.
You may be able to influence them occasionally, but ultimately, you have no real control over what’s happening outside of you.
However, if you can regularly focus on yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings about the situations you’re going through, you have a better chance of overcoming because it’s no longer about overcoming adversity but overcoming yourself despite it.
When you can do this, things begin to shift and change. Your view of the problem and how you see yourself within it change.
Instead of seeing yourself as miserable or unable to succeed because of whatever your reasoning may be, you start to see how you can do things differently.
You begin to refuse to succumb to the negative self-talk because you know it doesn’t afford you anything other than a sense of pseudo-solace that’s quickly replaced with feeling miserable again.
The Role of Suffering in Growth: Finding Meaning in Hardship
Adversity isn’t what breaks you. It’s how you respond to it. You either let it break you, or you don’t. The ones who hang on and fight through the hardship, whether failure, rejection, or torture (in some cases), are the ones who move forward with a sense of equanimity and a greater appreciation for life.
Those who give in to suffering and allow themselves to lament their misfortune typically find themselves down and out, unable to find stable footing. They feel as if life is against them and have no hope of finding or experiencing freedom.
They’re trapped in a prison of their own minds.
This is fairly indicative of today’s societal approach to most people’s level of “suffering.”
What I mean is that most people aren’t truly suffering in the true sense of the word. Many of the sufferings we face are self-inflicted, caused by poor mental toughness and feelings of being less than, not having enough, not having what it takes, etc., and so it’s hard to see the forest for the trees of what true suffering is.
Many people still suffer in our world, which is the sad face of reality, but if you’re reading this, I highly doubt you’re one of those people.
It doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering in one way or another, but you aren’t a starving mother of a starving child watching your baby die in your arms, wondering when you’ll die next. That’s next level suffering, and I hope one day we can find a way to end this type of suffering forever.
Still, mental suffering is no joke. I should know. Depression feels like constantly being on fire with no way of putting it out. Here and there, you get a small respite from the thoughts and feelings, but the majority of the time, you’re so miserable you wish you would die.
However, having come out of depression and seeing it for what it is, I know that this state of suffering is much different than the starving mother and child.
You can choose to stay there or not, whereas the starving mother and child don’t have a choice.
If you’re ready to end suffering in your life, you can start today. You don’t have to live that way for the rest of your life. You can absolutely decide to start changing how you think about yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.
Here are a few steps to get you moving in the right direction.
Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Mind and Overcome Adversity
Step 1: Be Willing to Do the Work
- If you’re not willing to do the work, it won’t work, and you’ll stay stuck where you are.
I spent way too much time lost in cycles of depression and anxiety because I wasn’t willing to do the hard work and stick with it as I should have. I could have overcome depression much faster if I had put all my effort into it like I eventually did.
Step 2: Practice Self-Awareness
- Take note of where you are in life. Allow yourself to be open to the idea that you are or feel “X.” I am depressed, anxious, angry, bitter, scared, fearful of my imminent failure, worthless, hopeless, lazy, etc.
- Allow yourself to recognize and become aware of that state and those feelings.
- Don’t run from it, don’t hide from it. Be present with it, note it for what it is, and be willing to stare it down and accept where you are.
Note: This is not an invitation to wallow in your own self-pity. This is a state of recognition and coming to terms with where you are in life, nothing else. Don’t use this as an excuse to dive into why your life is so miserable where you get sucked into your negative thinking and feeling loop. Instead, use it as a way to realize how you’ve been living and that you don’t have to stay in that place any longer. Look at it objectively and see how it’s been holding you back from living the life you want to live.
Step 3: Work on Your Mindset Every Day
- Whenever you start to slide into that place of thinking and feeling the way you do, catch yourself and bring yourself back out.
- When you catch yourself, reframe your mindset and start to retrain your mind and body how you want to think and feel.
Much of this work requires you to become hyperaware of your mental and physical state. Becoming conscious of the unconscious, as Carl Jung would say.
Your Mind is the Key to Overcome Any Challenge
When facing challenges, your mind is the key to overcoming adversity, regardless of what you’re going through. When it comes to suffering, your life is truly in your hands. You can either fall victim to the circumstances or choose to rise above them.
It’s all in the decisions you make. Some of this might come down to teaching yourself how to endure difficult things, such as working out, cold showers or ice baths, running, swimming, meditation, etc.
The more you can acclimate to difficult situations, the more likely you’ll overcome real-world situations when they arise or overcome your own mental limitations throughout your day-to-day.
Remember, no one can take away the power to choose your response except you.
Today, I challenge you to follow the three steps mentioned above and begin changing your mindset about what you consider to be adversity in your life. Continually work on becoming a better version of yourself.
This doesn’t mean you need to be the next billionaire or world changer; it simply means working to be better than you were yesterday, not for anyone else’s benefit but for your own benefit. As a result, the changes you make within yourself will begin to spill out into the world around you, and others will benefit from it, whether you plan for it or know it or not.
Please share if you found this message insightful, helpful, intriguing, or anything else worth sharing.
I wish you all the best!
Josiah
