The whole point of this blog, newsletter, article…whatever you want to call it is to help people overcome their challenges and find a way to put themselves in the right frame of mind to do so. The problem most people run into is that they want to experience change right now, and if they can’t do that, they probably won’t move forward with whatever advice might be given to assist them in overcoming their issues. That’s why in last week’s newsletter I asked, “When Are You Going to Start Doing the Work”, or when I asked, “Do You REALLY Want to Get Better?”. And it’s why I say it’s the small increments over time that can lead to lasting change.
We want everything big and we want everything now. We don’t like waiting or exercising patience because we’ve become so accustomed to having what we want right now. But that’s not how life works. It takes a baby 9 months to form in the womb, and then once you’ve had the child, it takes years for it to become a self-sufficient human being.
You can’t effectively lose weight naturally overnight, and you can’t get to the top of your field the first day on the job. Winning an Olympic gold medal doesn’t come without non-stop training. Likewise, you can’t cook a nutritious meal in a matter of seconds. All these things take time.
Sure, people want their meals faster, so someone invented the microwave, which nukes nutrients from whatever foods you cook, usually highly processed foods without many nutrients anyway, so there’s a major tradeoff for the convenience.
Someone invented liposuction and the ability to perform certain surgical operations to help people lose weight.
Many people have mental health challenges, so various medications have been created to try and offset the issue and make people happy.
We can find shortcuts to anything in life but shortcuts don’t fix the underlying issues.
Everyone wants to heal or get better at [Enter your issues here] but rarely do we seriously pursue active change. That’s because change can be very difficult. It might mean re-writing your entire way of life.
However, if you want to see change in your life, you’re going to need to set out on a journey.
The Journey
For many of us, the journey usually goes something like this.
We go through a whole year of feeling dissatisfied because of our largest, personal issue. In this example, we’ll use getting fit.
The New Year starts rolling around and we decide we want to make a change and make this next year the best year of our lives. January finally hits, we go to the gym, we work out hard, and we feel great. The next day is the worst day you’ve experienced in a long time.
You overdid it at the gym. You are sore and beyond miserable. It takes you days to recover.
Once recovered you go back to the gym and work out, but you take it much easier than you did the first time. This lasts for several weeks before you burn out because you either aren’t seeing results or you don’t like the time requirements needed to make your new vision a reality.
Fast forward to a few months later and you try working out again, this time at home. It lasts for a while before you sizzle out. From there on out you resign yourself to the fact that getting in shape is too difficult, and you’ll wait until next year to make the New Year resolution again.
So many people are guilty of this exact scenario, but why is this the case?
- We want what we want when we want it.
- When what we want doesn’t materialize like we think it should, we move on to something ‘better/easier’ or revert back to our old way of living.
Most of us don’t go into the situation with the mindset that I’m going to play this thing out. I’m going to stick with it no matter what.
We don’t create that indomitable will that pushes us through the hard times.
We don’t start from step one, we try to start from step 61, or 578.
Realistically speaking, we don’t strategize or make a game plan of how we want to accomplish those things we want to accomplish.
The way to do that is by starting at step one and then taking one step after another.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
–Lao Tzu
Imagine This Instead
What if, instead of going hard at the gym on day one, we took it a little easier?
I know it’s not impressive, but what if you started with lighter weights and didn’t do as many reps? What if you only stayed for 20 minutes instead of an hour, or only ran half a mile or one mile instead of three or four? What if you did that and then called it a day, headed home, maybe feel slightly sore, if at all the following day, and then head back to the gym to repeat the day after that?
It doesn’t look cool. Nobody’s impressed with your workout routine. Some people might judge you. But guess what? You’ll feel good about yourself.
Imagine doing that for several weeks in a row. Your body doesn’t hurt, you’re working towards what you set out to accomplish, and you’re learning how to do it in a reasonable and fulfilling way.
Why? Because you’ve taken the pressure to perform off yourself. You’ve allowed yourself to understand that getting into shape takes time. After a few weeks of lifting lighter weights, moving your body, and getting into the rhythm of working out, you begin to increase your weight, take more time at the gym, start including additional exercises, etc.
Before you know it, several months have passed and you’ve seen growth. You may not be where you want to be, but that’s okay.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
–Lao Tzu
And not only that, but each step along the journey has to come one after the other. There’s no journey where you stand at the foot of a mountain, close your eyes, and the next thing you know you’re at the top of the mountain.
It takes time.
I believe this is the biggest obstacle people face when trying to achieve something different than what they’re used to experiencing.
TIME
How much time are you willing to spend to achieve your dreams or goals in life? If someone told you they could make you a multi-millionaire and all you had to do was follow their directions over the next ten years, would you do it?
I’m sure we would all say, “YES”!
The hard truth is, in the end, only a few would be multi-millionaires.
Why?
Time.
The desired result or outcome takes too long before we see the fruits of our labor. But what we forget is…
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
–Lao Tzu
If we do happen to remember it’s about taking a single step, we forget that the journey is still a thousand miles.
Somewhere along the way, most people lay down and give up. They will find a way to be content living where they are in their new paradigm.
They go to the gym and have their workout routine in place, but they’ve done nothing to address their diet. They’re still shoving fistfuls of unhealthy food down their gullet and wonder why the workouts aren’t fixing the issue.
They’ve started the journey and maybe even enjoy working out, but they won’t see the end of the road because they don’t want to accept what the rest of the journey entails.
Finding a comfortable in-between can be the downfall of experiencing the life you actually want.
The rest of that road involves changing your eating habits, sometimes drastically, in some cases. But that can be very difficult to do. But what if you did it step by step? What if, instead of changing everything at once, you changed a few things here and there?
Once you get comfortable with that, you change a few more eating habits.
Over TIME, you begin to see more changes in the right direction.
This is why you need to remember SIOTCLLC (Small Increments Over Time Can Lead to Lasting Change), and yes, I expect you to start using this acronym on a daily basis.
Change Is There Waiting for You to Do the Work
It really is. Change is no respecter of persons. Change will come upon you once you decide you are ready to do what it takes to see that change come to pass.
Waiting for years isn’t necessary to see change either. If you start working out as described in this article, you will eventually begin to see changes in your body, mood, and how you feel. It may not be so drastic that you look into the mirror and see a shiny new version of yourself, but it can be enough to make you feel proud of the work you have accomplished thus far.
And that is what you’re after. If you can get to that place, you can see that change is possible.
You begin to understand that just because you’ve been living one way, with whatever issue you’ve been dealing with, you now see that it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Another great thing about change is that once you begin to make small changes in your life, it begins to spread to other areas of your life.
To continue with the workout example, not only do you feel stronger, but you have more energy and your mood may have improved. As a result, you might relate to people a little differently than you had before. It might not be much, but there could be a subtle shift.
You don’t make the same decisions you used to either because you don’t want to lose all the hard work you’ve been putting into transforming yourself, so you naturally abstain from certain things that you used to give in to.
Eventually, given enough time, your perspective may begin to shift in other areas of your life as well. You may start doing better quality work which might lead to a raise or a better paying job, or maybe you meet someone who becomes your significant other who wouldn’t have been a prospect until you started making the change.
I’m not promising anything except for this, nothing will force you to make a change for the better. Even bottom-of-the-barrel moments won’t force us to change. We have to decide we want to.
There are plenty of people who have reached the bottom of the barrel and have decided to stay there, and there are others who have reached the same place and decided they’re going to do something different.
It’s Not Just About Exercise
I know I’ve used exercise and the gym in my examples, but this is not limited to just getting into shape. This concept goes for anything you want to do in life.
Dealing with mental health issues? Struggling with a relationship? Don’t like your job? Wish “Fill in the blank” was better when it comes to your specific circumstances?
Remember SIOTCLLC.
Okay, I need to stop with that one!
But it is true…
Find those small steps that you can take that will eventually lead to the desired outcome. Then do those things every day until you start to experience change. From there, pivot as needed but keep moving forward.
This is how I overcame 20+ years of depression. Trust me, if I can do that, you can make the changes you’re hoping for as well.
Be sure to share this with someone who needs to hear the message.
Much love to you all,
Josiah
Visit josiahthibodeau.com for more inspirational content and resources
