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We’re always becoming someone whether we realize it or not. Our lives are constantly moving in this ebb and flow where nothing stands still, and yet, most of us don’t realize the changes within ourselves unless something drastic pulls us from our reverie. This idea that you become what you think about stems from the fact that our thoughts direct our actions.
Now, our bodies may be ever-changing, but our minds can get stuck in a fixed mindset that begins to stagnate over time. This happens because we think certain thoughts that create a specific feeling that in turn generates more of the same thoughts, over and over again.
Eventually, if we don’t learn to generate new thoughts, we end up with what we call a personality, which is an expression of those thoughts we think regularly.
This isn’t a bad thing, it’s something that makes each of us unique, but explains why certain people, especially once they’ve grown older, tend to argue or fight against change in their personal lives, social circles, at a national level, etc.
Sticking with the Norm Is Easier Than Change
Where this begins to drift into the realm of unavoidable conflagration within yourself, is when your thoughts are predominantly negative.
“You become what you think about all day long.”
Wayne Dyer
In his book, “There is a Spiritual Solution for Every Problem” Wayne Dyer dissects the idea that you are what you think.
Unfortunately, there are many people out there whose thoughts tend to revolve around all the negative situations in their lives, whether real or imagined, as well as all the potential future problems they may or may not run into.
It’s exhausting trying to keep up with all the energy expenditure being released from consistent negative thinking. I should know because I dealt with depression for 20+ years and it was rough.
“There is no depression. There are only people thinking depressing thoughts”
Wayne Dyer
Several years ago, I might have argued with Dr. Dyer regarding his statement about there being no depression and that it’s just a thought. I mean, I was struggling through it daily, and it felt as real as anything else going on in my life.
However, over time I came to understand that it really was just thoughts. It was the interplay of thoughts, which created a chemical that caused a feeling, and the desire from my body to feel that feeling again, so it required more of the same thoughts.
After practicing and working with various techniques to change the relationship I had with depression, I began to see that it really was my thinking all along.
It wasn’t my circumstances or situations. It wasn’t because this person hurt me, or said something that caused some sort of emotional pain. It was simply because I allowed myself to let my mind run through a negative loop about why the circumstances or people were so problematic.
Time after time I would regulate my thoughts into a belief system that I perceived to be true about myself and the world based on my experiences.
The good news here is that we all do this. The bad news is some of us do it with a negative outlook instead of a positive one.
That’s where things can start to get a little dicey. If there is no depression, only people thinking depressing thoughts, then the statement, “You become what you think about” is really about how your thoughts create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A simple story can help illustrate this point. There were two brothers who grew up with an overbearing, abusive father. One brother became an alcoholic and eventually ended up homeless, while the other brother went on to become a very successful, disciplined businessman. When the brothers were asked how they ended up where they did in life, both brothers gave the same answer, “My father”.
Realistically speaking, it’s not the events or situations that cause us to feel good or bad about ourselves or the world around us. It’s our internal dialogue nit-picking at the events and labeling them as either good or bad.
From there, we create a story in our mind about how the events have a positive or negative impact on us, which reinforces the belief system we’ve created for ourselves.
If this wasn’t true, then how could there be so many people, throughout all the ages, who rise above their circumstances and bring about some form of revolution that sets entire countries, and in some cases the entire world, on a different course?
The External Isn’t the Problem, The Internal Is the Problem
Blaming external situations is just an excuse for poor inner management. Trust me, there are over 20 years of life I can’t get back that were lived poorly because of improper inner management. Had I known what I know now, and had a chance to understand everything I do now, maybe things would have been different.
As it is, the past is past and there is only the present moment.
This moment right here, right now is all I have. It’s all you have as well.
So, when are you going to take charge of your inner management and stop blaming your external situations, your relationships, your job, the economy, or anything else you’re currently outsourcing your energies to?
William Wallace could have given up and hid in cowardice as so many others had before him. Mahatma Gandhi could have stayed silent and lived his life wishing things to be better. Jesus could have given in to the pressure he faced and stopped his teachings, which eventually led to his death.
Most of Jesus’ disciples were martyred for spreading his teachings. Many of them could have stopped at any time out of fear. But their belief was so strong it kept them on the path even through a painful death.
Another story to help illustrate this point is as follows, An entire town fled in terror at the arrival of a fierce general and his army. They had been ravaging the countryside and were now about to lay waste to this small village along with its monastery.
Everyone fled except for one monk who stayed behind. When the army entered the courtyard of the monastery, the general asked the monk where everyone had fled. The monk stood still and silent. The general climbed down off his horse, walked over to the monk, and said, “Do you know who I am? I’m the one who can cut you in half with this sword, right where you stand.”
Without flinching or missing a beat, the monk replied, “Do you know who I am? I’m the one who can stand here while you cut me in half with your sword.”
After a moment, the general mounted his horse and led his troops out of the village and on to the next.
Inner Management Is the Key
The reason these stories are inspiring is because we intuitively realize that each of the heroes involved has a deep sense of inner management.
There isn’t time to throw a pity party. The life or expression inside them is larger than their outside circumstances rather than the other way around.
We also realize, and I think this is what inspires us, that the very same potential lives inside of us. We’ve seen it play out in various scenarios.
However, we don’t know how to cultivate those thoughts and emotions in a place where it becomes the dominant way of thinking for us.
Usually, this thinking is rendered down to a one-off scenario that we couldn’t possibly believe to be our true selves because we don’t experience it regularly.
But what if we could experience it regularly?
Could we change our lives as a result?
The Answer Is Yes!
Many people have changed their lives as a result of changing how they think.
Living as the victim of your own thinking is no way to live. It’s miserable. So, why not start working on how to change the way you think right now?
If you could be free from whatever emotional bondage you happen to find yourself in, would you allow yourself to experience that freedom?
Standing aside, and letting go of your ego is all it takes. Simple right?
“Your ego is what you must transcend in order to know the truth of healing.”
Wayne Dyer
“True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.”
Mortimer J. Adler
Various maladies will undoubtedly spring up in an attempt to pull you back down into your wallowing as soon as you begin to attempt to change your thought processes. You have to be aware of this.
You’ve been running your programs for such a long time it’s no wonder you experience difficulties when trying to change. It’s probably why you’ve given up in the past if you even attempted to start.
Overcoming yourself can be extremely difficult, but it’s not impossible.
Depending on where you are, you may find it fairly easy to overcome and move on, others might find it takes more work than originally anticipated.
One thing remains certain though, regardless of how long it takes to get free, that’s still a better option than living in your present condition until your life runs out.
Would you rather suffer the tragedies of your mind for the rest of your life, or go through the struggle of changing your mind and live in freedom from your own condemnation?
I can tell you that personally, the second choice has been so much better than living how I was.
So much so, that I wonder how I even made it as far as I did. I was so miserable. You have to be extremely miserable to almost take your own life on multiple occasions.
The emotional pain I experienced was so strong that I wanted to kill myself. I almost did several times, and I thought of suicide regularly for at least a decade.
Freedom from lifelong suffering of that magnitude for a few years of work? Yes, please.
I would pay that price over and over again. Which, as a matter of fact, I do pay the price over and over. I am constantly working to become a better version of myself.
Why?
Because there is so much potential locked up inside that I want to release. Every one of us has it.
Instead of regulating yourself down to the perceived image you have of yourself, allow yourself the space to see yourself for who you really are.
My son is 4.5 years old and thinks he’s the toughest guy on the planet. If he gets hurt he cries of course, but it doesn’t take long for him to be showing his muscles again as if nothing happened, because he doesn’t have any judgments about who he is.
He’s not embarrassed and wondering if he might be wrong, or if others are going to think he’s weak because he was tough, got hurt, and then cried about it. He doesn’t care. He almost doesn’t even remember because he’s so engrossed in the present moment.
Unfortunately, most of us have at times created judgments about ourselves that are, at best, inaccurate, and at worst, completely untrue, and those judgments are based on past experiences or future fears. Just because you did something then, doesn’t mean that’s who you have to be now, or who you will be in the future.
Change Doesn’t Have to Elude You
We can all change, at any point in our lives. The question is, are you willing to pay the price and do what it takes to make the change?
Most people aren’t. But if you’re still reading this, you probably don’t fall into that category. Either that, or you’ve lived in the “Most People” arena for too long and can’t take it anymore. You’re searching for answers and a way out.
If that’s you, or even if it’s not, the way out is in.
Circumstances don’t need to change. The economy doesn’t need to get better. Your family doesn’t need to understand you. You don’t need to be the smartest, fastest, best-looking, (insert whatever else you want here) to experience peace and joy in your life.
What needs to change is your mindset.
You have to take control of your mind.
Inner management is what’s actually needed. The reason why is that your circumstances, the economy, your family, friends, co-workers, job, school, etc. are always going to change. What you need to stay level is your mind.
If you can control your mind, you can control your future. You control your future by being in the present moment.
So, how do you do this? Once again we come back to the step I’ve mentioned in almost every newsletter up until this point.
Meditation
Don’t believe me. Go try it. Set a timer for one hour and sit in silence with your eyes closed. No music. No television. No talking. No moving. No thinking. No checking the time to see how long it’s been.
Just silence and stillness and the dark.
Once you’re done, let me know how much control you really have.
After you’ve done your one-hour meditation and have an idea of how you handled it, start doing a daily meditation for 10 minutes a day. After a while, go to twenty minutes a day. Then 30, then 40, and 50, 60, etc.
Still, sit in silence. Quiet everything within you. And when your mind starts to wander or to think about your day or week or travels back in time to argue with someone about something that happened years ago, or wondering how you could have been treated this way…
Simply bring yourself back to the present moment. No anger. No judgment about how well you’re doing. Just extend grace to and for yourself and this moment.
Things to try while meditating:
- Focus on your breath: Follow the breath in and out of your body. Feel the coolness of it as you inhale, the warmth as you exhale
- Focus on your heartbeat: Pay attention to the rhythm of your heartbeat as you breathe in and out. Watch how it speeds up and slows down as you breathe.
- Focus on a spot on or in your body and feel the energy: Take the palm of your hand for example, or your forehead, just above and between your eyebrows. Focus on the spot until you can feel the energy within you. (For me, it’s a light tingling feeling. Very pleasant)
Do this every day and notice how you begin to gain power over your mind in the next few months. The change may not be extravagant, but look for the subtle differences.
Start to read or listen to inspiring stories as well. You’ll begin to see that most of the people who accomplished something great in life started from the bottom and worked their way up.
Continue to find sources of inspiration that lead you to a more positive outlook rather than a negative one.
I hope this letter inspires you to seek continual change in your journey through life. Thank you for reading. Be sure to share with someone who needs to hear this message.
Much love to you all,
Josiah
